Letters to Coulson
by son of coul lives
Summary: After Phil Coulson's "death" Clint wasn't doing very well so everyone thought it would be a good idea to hold a journal with letters to Coulson. Only Natasha knew that they were together. Bad at summaries. please R&R... ON HOLD FOR NOW
1. Chapter 1

3 weeks, 2 days of you being dead...

Dear Coulson,

They said I should write you everyday to "Help the healing process". What does that even mean? I can't heal from this. You left, I stayed. That's all there is to it. You promised you wouldn't leave!

This isn't helping, it's only making it worse.

Barton

* * *

Short, next chapters would get longer... Don't really like this so reveiws (good or bad) welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

3 weeks, 3 days

Dear Coulson,

Nat and I visited your grave today... I blame myself for you being dead, even though she keeps threating me to stop thinking like that...

I wish you were here. You always made things better. Why did you have to go?

Well, I have to go train, talk to you tomorrow...

- Barton

* * *

Short again... please tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3: 3 weeks, 4 days

3 weeks, 4 days

Dear Coulson,

Today Nat beat me in fighting... In my defense, Stark wouldn't leave us alone and kept distracting me...

I couldn't sleep last night and ran into Steve when I went downstairs. He's a really great guy, just like you always told me. He was looking forward to talking to you when Loki was defeated. I wish I could have seen how you were when you first met him.

I remember how you were when he was found in the ice. You wouldn't _stop _talking about him.

Well, I have to go, talk to you tomorrow...

-Barton

* * *

Was gonna put this up tomorrow but I just felt like putting this up now... :p Tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4: 3 weeks, 5 days

3 weeks, 5 days

Dear Coulson,

Steve signed your Captain America cards today. They are currently sitting at your desk at our apartment. Even though he signed them, I know you'll be upset with how they look. You put them in your locker so that they wouldn't get damaged and Fury takes them out and puts your blood on them so that he can give everyone a push to being a team! I was so mad because I knew how much they meant to you.

I'm sorry, if I knew that he was going to do that, I would have stopped him.

- Barton

I am going to try to update everyday but I don't know how well that will work out because of school... I'll try my best though! Tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5: 3 weeks, 6 days

Another chapter up! How many chapters do you think I should write for this?

And to Violetrose25, you'll have to wait until the end to find that out, but a couple hints is by my user name and how I put "death" instead of death in the summary. (hint hint wink wink) XD Anyway, tell me what you think!

* * *

3 weeks, 6 days:

Dear Coulson,

I miss you, Nat misses you, even Tony misses you...

I wish that I could trade spots with you, less people would miss me, if any...

You will always be remembered at S.H.I.E.L.D as the badass senior agent that put all the new kids in thier place.

Everyone stares at me as if I might break any second... They don't even know how close we were, all they know is that you were my handler, not that we've been together for 4 years...

I miss you _so _much...

- Barton


	6. Chapter 6: 3 weeks, 7 days

3 weeks, 7 days:

Dear Coulson,

Today we had to fight these stupid bots that took 10 minutes to fight. But they did over ride Tony's suit so plus on thier part. They just need better suits then maybe I could enjoy beating them.

That was the first "mission" we went on after your death. I miss hearing your voice in my ear. I got really upset when I heard Agent Gibson instead of you...

-Barton

* * *

Thank you to everyone who is reading this! Tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7: 4 weeks

To guest reviewer: All I'm gonna say is that everyone was /told/ that he was dead. Even though the only proof they have is: SHIELD cameras for when Loki stabbed him, Thor's eyes, and his trading cards (that were actually in his locker and not on him) , they had to believe that Coulson was dead...

* * *

4 weeks

Dear Coulson,

I miss you so much, Phil...

Tomorrow would have been our 5th anniversary.

I wish you were here... I was going to take you to Paris and get the same room we stayed at last time and everything! It was going to be perfect.

I love you, Phil.

-Clint

* * *

Like always,

Tell me what you think!


	8. Author's note

Hi, I'm sorry that I take so long to update when I was planning on updating a lot more than I am... I got my computer taken away for a few weeks, another reason I wasn't updating... But, I should be able to update this weekend, hopefully... *fingers crossed*

But just something I've been thinking about, how many chapters should I put up for this story? I'm already writing the ending but I don't know how far away it would be... Any suggestions?

(Oh and btw I'm writing this from my ipod...)


	9. Chapter 8: 4 weeks, 1 day

4 weeks, 1 day

Dear Coulson,

Happy fifth anniversary, babe.

I love you so much.

You were ,and still are, the only reason I get up in the morning.

I remember the day that you proposed, it was perfect in every way, and one of the greatest days of my life.

Thank you for not giving up or getting tired of me, when I know that you and Nat told me all the time that I was a pain.

I miss you so much and I hope I see you soon...

-Clint

* * *

Didn't really like this chapter but I really wanted to put /something/ up, I might change it later, I don't know... Please tell me what you think!


	10. Chapter 9: 4 weeks, 6 days

I hope that this is more. It's depressing when I write it, it's at least a page (front and back) and when I type it, it's so short... :c And sorry that I take so long to update, but I don't have enough time to type it all out. Also, I've been having a lot of writers block lately. I'm slowly going away from the Clint/Coulson fandom(looking for fics and art in the wrong places, I guess...) I'll try to get better at writing it, though...

* * *

Dear Coulson,

I'm sorry that I haven't written for a few days, Nat and I had to go on a mission..

Fury is mad at me because the mission that he sent us on went bad in every way possible. Some innocent people were killed and the guy we were going after got away. Fury's making me do paperwork and no one will let me go on the roof. I'm scared to close my eyes because every time I do I see on of my arrows hitting (or killing) an innocent child.

This is the second time I've f***ed up like that. Fury wants to take me out of the field for a while and Gibson agrees with him. Fury brought you up when we were arguing he said that you would agree with him and make me stay off the field. At least I would actually listen to you. I'm going to try to go to the roof again.

* * *

Clint got up from the couch and went to the stairs. As he was walking up Natasha and Bruce were walking down. Clint ran and hid behind a cabinet,

"Clint we can still see you."

"No, you can't"

"Yes, we can" Natasha retorted

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked

"I'm only going to the roof" he said sheepishly

"No,Clint you're not going to the roof by your self." Nat said

"Why not?"

"Clint" she said with a look that told him _I'm getting tired of your shit, now stop playing dumb. _

He sighed "I'm not going to jump, I just wanted to clear me head" he said pathetically trying to push past them

"Your not going up there alone Clint, you know that."

"Then why don't you come with me?"

She looked at Bruce and he said

"I'll be in a lab", and with that he walked out of the stairway

"After you" Clint said and tucked his notebook under his arm. When they got to the roof Clint walked close to the edge and sat down, Natasha sighed and sat down next to him while leaning on her elbows. Clint reopened him notebook and started writing again.

* * *

I'm on the roof now but, Nat is sitting next to me. They think that if I'm up here alone that I will try to jump again, that was only once and it was like a month ago. Well I'm going to go, talk to you tomorrow...

-Clint

* * *

Please let me know what you think!

SPECIAL THANKS TO IZZY FOR TYPING THIS!


End file.
